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When
searching for James Hannaham's debut novel God Says No
on Amazon, the website helpfully suggest a handful of titles
about how to cope with the Almighty's seeming indifference
to the reader's prayers. What does it mean when God allows
his faithful to suffer with the plight they are currently
facing? In Hannaham's novel, the prayer to which the title
alludes is offered by Gary Gray: heavyset, black, southern,
Christian, and besieged by unwanted same-sex desires. God
Says No is the account of Gray's furtive quest to rid
himself of these ungodly yearnings, delivered in a wry, tragicomic
narrative.
Hannaham
has created in Gary Gray the ultimate self-loather. He dislikes
his weight, thinks of himself as less-than for being black,
and his southern Christianity makes his homosexuality a matter
of eternal life and death. In doing so, the author has created
a sort of Bizarro-world Ignatius J. Reilly who pathetically
bumbles from place to place, always doubting himself and desperately
trying to please everyone's desires except his own. Trying
to conform as a 19-year-old in a Christian college, Gray forces
himself into the sex act with his girlfriend Annie. This,
of course, leads to a pregnancy, marriage, and dropping out
of college to pay for his new family. Immature, unsure of
himself, a married father, and gay, Gary Gray is stuck between
his desire not to hurt his wife/child/God and the basic human
urges he is experiencing.
While
the book is written in a subtle, art house humor style, it
is certainly not without its heartbreak. When Gray inevitably
winds up in a church-sponsored gay-conversion facility, the
desperation of the men's conflicting desires is palpable.
They all violently struggle with same-sex attractions (SSAs),
but they also deeply desire to be "normal." Hannaham is able
to suffuse Gray's entire inner monologue with his preconceptions,
prejudices, naïve ignorance, and conflict. After a long
time of giving in to his sexual desires, Gray has, in his
immaturity, prejudice, and guilt, confused homosexuality with
meaningless sex:
The
moral choice seemed darned obvious. My wife, the mother
of my child, was offering me a true, meaningful life—one
that I didn't deserve. We had a history, we shared a faith.
The homosexual world, as far as I had seen, could only
offer an endless string of [one-night stands].
Though he had treated me well, every encounter I had with
a man seemed to scrape away part of my soul and leave
me searching for the next guy. Same-sex desire was an
addiction. I didn't think opposite-sex attraction could
ever feel as bad. I clutched both of Annie's hands. I
hadn't tried everything yet. Maybe the Lord's promise
would be fulfilled after all, just a little later than
I'd hoped. Addictions could be overcome.
Hannaham's
ability to create a character with such a complete psychology
that his entire string of logic can be easily traced is remarkable,
and he draws the reader much deeper into the narrative with
this sense of logic. Gray is capable of having long, loving
relationships with men that are only hampered by his sexual
guilt and shame regarding the "famous thing" that gay men
do. He attempts to convince himself into becoming straight
by thinking the thoughts he was taught to think, and the pathos
is heavy and touching.
In a
fantastic first novel, God Says No explores the tumult
of inner conflict, Fundamentalist Christianity versus nature,
the desire to make loved ones happy, the quest for "goodness,"
and a near-universal urge to fit in. James Hannaham will be
an exciting author to follow. Anyone interested in the seemingly
increasingly escalating clash of the progressive gay rights
movement and those who seek to squash it under a misunderstanding
boot will find the book deeply interesting. Because Gary Gray
is such a traditional outcast on multiple levels—being
an overweight, gay minority—God Says No strongly
succeeds by appealing to everyone's basic desire for acceptance.
(August,
2009)
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